I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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