Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
