I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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