it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His hands were made for my vagina.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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