I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
soo... how was my night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
