why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
