Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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