Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
