first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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