Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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