3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
