I can't watch pbs sober anymore
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize