i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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