Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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