ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I got inside last night via doggy door
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
