I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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