drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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