I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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