All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize