The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
