Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
