i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
