Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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