You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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