is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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