So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
