I just threw up on my dentist
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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