Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
