ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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