Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
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you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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