So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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