I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize