When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
