dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
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I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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