Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
