Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
