Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
