i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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