he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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