I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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