idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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