the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
