it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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