I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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