I wannas sexs uuuuu
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
