if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
