I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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