Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
