your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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