Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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