And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
