I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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