i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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