Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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