Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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