Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
