suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
