Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
