my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
