From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
