I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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