i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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