You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize