Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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