Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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