i think i have two assholes
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
