Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
