i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
